Memory

by Monica Max West

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1.
Free 03:27
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Free Free (Oh yes, I’m free now! Oh yes, I’m free now! Oh yes, I’m free now! Oh yes, I’m free now!) I thought you were a part of me, I thought you would never leave I thought that I would live and die holding onto your sleeve I thought we shared this pulsing blood, I thought we were the same I thought our tie would last forever inscribed in the letters of our name If I stayed with you, you would stay with me and we’d never be apart And we’d hold on tight to this preserver of life, we wouldn’t upset the applecart, I set you Free, I let you go, pull off these two sharp devil’s horns, shake off this shiny halo Free, now I can fly, beyond this dark horizon, into the starlit sky I thought we had a future, I thought we were walking down the same road I thought we were like twins together, each carrying half of the family load If I stayed with you, you would stay with me and we’d never be apart And we’d hold on tight to this preserver of life, we wouldn’t upset the applecart But you took this turn and I couldn’t follow unless I ripped out my heart (ripped out my heart) I thought you would not betray me, I thought you’d remain so true But when you cast away our common language, I became unglued I couldn’t stay with you, you wouldn’t stay with me: something drove us apart You took this turn and I couldn’t follow, you left a hole in my heart And that was just the start, that was just the start….So I set you Free, I let you go, pull off these two sharp devil’s horns, shake off this shiny halo Free, now I can fly, beyond this dark horizon, into the starlit sky Free, I let you go, pull off these two sharp devil’s horns, shake off this shiny halo (Oh yes, I’m free now! Oh yes, I’m free now! Oh yes, I’m free now! Oh yes, I’m free now!) Free, now I can fly, beyond this dark horizon, into the starlit sky (Oh yes, I’m free now! Oh yes, I’m free now! Oh yes, I’m free now! Oh yes, I’m free now!) FREE
2.
Let Courage Reign 04:03
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How long have I lived in the dark? How long have I kept myself small? How long have I feared disapproval from anyone at all? How long have I tempered my fire? How long have I tread carefully How long have I kept myself tethered, so scared of stormy seas One day I met this woman and she looked me in the eye, she said to me in earnest Are you a man or a mouse? Are you a coward or a hero? Are you one hundred million or an aching zero? Where's the heart inside you? Where's the blood coursing your veins? You could be so amazing if you...let courage reign How long have I swallowed my truth? How long have I held myself in? How long have I carried the weight of this legacy of sin? How long have I questioned my heart? How long have I twisted my thoughts? How long have I hidden my body to follow what they taught? One day I met this woman and she looked me in the eye, she said to me in earnest Are you a man or a mouse? Are you a coward or a hero? Are you one hundred million or an aching zero? Where's the heart inside you? Where's the blood coursing your veins? You could be so amazing if you...LET COURAGE REIGN! Stand up, rise up, grab this moment, find a voice I've only got this one life and I will make the choice To let courage reign, let courage reign Let courage reign, let courage reign I'm a woman standing proud; I am my own shining hero I'm a hundred thousand million, wave goodbye to zero My heart beats strong inside me, there is blood coursing my veins And I am so amazing 'cause I LET COURAGE REIGN, let courage reign Let courage reign, let courage reign Yes, I am so amazing, you are so amazing, we are so amazing when we let courage - I am so amazing, you are so amazing, we are so amazing when we LET COURAGE REIGN, let courage reign LET COURAGE REIGN, let courage reign Let courage reign
3.
Reverence is the Nature of My Love 03:33
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Reverence is the nature of my love (and Heaven is here and now) Reverence is the nature of my love (to honour you is my vow) Heaven is here and now, heaven is here and now Heaven is here Oh, beautiful, Beautiful: this green blue jewel in the sky Oh, beautiful, Beautiful: we share this home, you and I She gives and gives again, she never stops giving And all because of her, we are breathing and living Heaven is here and now, Heaven is here and now Heaven is here Oh, beautiful, Beautiful: every creature, every form Oh, beautiful, Beautiful: basking in the sun, weathering the storm We're doing the best we can, keeping the faith, keeping on Loving and learning, striving and burning, living true, living strong Reverence is the nature of my love (and Heaven is here and now) Reverence is the nature of my love (to honour you is my vow) Reverence is the nature of my love (and Heaven is here and now) Heaven is here and now, Heaven is here and now Heaven is here Motherland, my Motherland, how I breathe you in Motherland, my Motherland, you're in my blood, under my skin I'll be your witness; I'll be your lover now Oh this life, be my wife, I'll be your lover now The north, the south, the east, the west, below, within, above… Reverence is the nature of my love (oh, oh, oh, oh) Reverence is the nature of my love (and Heaven is here and now) Reverence is the nature of my love (to honour you is my vow) Reverence is the nature of my love (and Heaven is here and now) Reverence is the nature of my love (to cherish you is my vow) Heaven is here and now, Heaven is here and now Heaven is here and now
4.
Right Is Wrong 03:29
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No one has to say it: it’s in the air she breathes She follows what she swallows, she believes Yes, she worships at the church of self-reliance Where Ego is the Master and her Id avows compliance In her claustrophobic mind, she makes a thousand lists In tiny, cursive writing, no detail’s ever missed She’s chasing her tail ‘round this circular trail When’s she going to realise that Sometimes RIGHT IS WRONG It’s been so very long And still she doesn’t realise Sometimes RIGHT IS WRONG No one has to tell her: it lives inside her bones She was made to make the grade: she’ll do it all alone So she takes Will Power as her personal saviour And daily shows her love through her diligent behaviour In her claustrophobic mind, the trains run down the track But their journeys are aborted and they head right on back When's she going to learn to take some different turn? When’s she going to realise that Sometimes RIGHT IS WRONG It’s been so very long And still she doesn’t realise Sometimes RIGHT IS WRONG One overcast morning, she looks in the mirror Tracing the lines there, now everything’s clearer She says to herself, ‘All I need to be Is me’...and suddenly she’s free Sometimes RIGHT IS WRONG Sometimes RIGHT IS WRONG (and though it took so long) Sometimes RIGHT IS WRONG (now she finally sings a different song) Sometimes RIGHT IS WRONG (and though it took so long) Sometimes RIGHT IS WRONG (now she knows that right is sometimes wrong) Sometimes RIGHT IS WRONG (and though it took so long) Sometimes RIGHT IS WRONG (now she finally sings a different song) Sometimes RIGHT IS WRONG (and though it took so long) Sometimes RIGHT IS WRONG (now she knows that right is sometimes wrong)
5.
I Won't Get Lost 03:47
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I won’t get lost I won’t get lost Deadlines and meetings, late nights at the office, phone calls, endless lists, the next report to write Nappies and mealtimes, homework and school plays, another pair of outgrown shoes, another outgrown bike I look for the forest in these trees This endless searching feels like a disease What am I afraid of? I don't know... What am I afraid of? I don't know... A Kindle full of bloody words, the latest terror movie hit, CNN news feed checking on the mobile phone Romance novels, fairy tales, pornography and Tinder, the high of lust obscures the fact that I am still alone Coffee and a morning donut, alcohol and cigarettes, another midnight grab-it-quick greasy takeaway Facebook and Flickr, YouTube and Instagram, the hours spent browsing, clicking, Amazon, eBay I look for the forest in these trees This endless searching feels like a disease I won't get lost! I promise I am coming home I won't get lost! The universe sings in my bones I won't get lost! I'll close my eyes, take a deep breath in I won't get lost! The peace I want is there, within . All I see is love, love, love, love, love within All I see is love, love, love, love, love What am I afraid of? There's nothing to fear What am I afraid of? I can be here! I won't get lost! I won't get lost! I won't get lost! I'll close my eyes, take a deep breath in I won't get lost! The peace I seek is there, within I won't get lost! I promise I am coming home I won't get lost! The universe sings in my bones I won't get lost! I'll close my eyes, take a deep breath in I won't get lost! The peace I seek is there, within
6.
Toothache Song 03:43
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Celebrate the non-toothache, the one I haven't got today I can be most happy if I choose to see this way 'Cause I've got eyes and I've got ears And I've got smiles, and I've got tears And I've got water and I've got food And I've got clothes, I sleep under a roof I have a heart that is beating I have lungs that are breathing Welcome home! I arrive! I'm alive – I am alive! I'm alive – I am alive! Celebrate! Don't dissipate your life in thoughts that bring you down If you suffer, you can buffer the pain by seein' the good around 'Cause you've got feet, and you've got hands I hope there's no war in your homeland Do you have work in this fine time? You can have reason, you can have rhyme You have a heart that is beating You have lungs that are breathing Welcome home! Oooh, arrive! You're alive – you are alive! We have more than enough, so much more than enough Life is more beautiful when we remember this More than enough, always more than enough Just noticing our blessings…mmmm, what bliss! We have hearts that are beating We have lungs that are breathing Welcome home! We arrive! We're alive, we're alive, we're alive, we're alive – we are alive! We're alive, we're alive, we're alive, we're alive – we are alive! Celebrate the non-toothache, the one I haven't got today I can be most happy if I choose to see this way
7.
Be Free Wherever You Are 03:38
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Coasting down this avenue, lightly hold the handlebar This beautiful moment is wünderbar – oh yeah! You're biting all your fingernails and I love you You're talking till the cows come home and I love you more You're swallowing another piece of cake and I'll Love you forever, I'll love you forever Even as you spin around and down and out the trapdoor Obsessed by what is yet to come and all that came before Be free wherever you are Believe and shine like a star Coasting down this avenue, lightly hold the handlebar Be free wherever you are If you cry yourself to sleep, I'll hold you close And I'll be there when you awake and need me most If you cry yourself to sleep, I'll hold you near And I'll be there when you awake, I promise I'll be here Not thinner, not better endowed Not richer or more famous Not genius clever, not movie star beautiful Just you You're looking away when I meet your eye and I love you You're sleeping through the weekends and I love you more You've forgotten what you look like and I'll Love you forever, I'll love you forever Obsessed by what is yet to come and all that came before You spin around and down and out the trapdoor Be free wherever you are Believe and shine like a star Coasting down this avenue, lightly hold the handlebar This beautiful moment Be free wherever you are Believe and shine like a star Coasting down this avenue, lightly hold the handlebar This beautiful moment, so wünderbar Be free wherever you are
8.
Call Me By My True Names 04:02
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We are not different; we are not the same Call me by my true names I'm the hailstorm across this farmland, the year's labour destroyed in a day I'm the beggar shivering in excrement, the executive who turns the other way I'm the lioness hunting after nightfall, the impala with a broken neck I'm the worker dumping toxins under cover, the people next door, getting sick I'm the shaker, I am the shaken I'm the taker, I am the taken I'm the forsaker, I'm the forsaken So, call me by my true names Call me by my true names I'm the fire devouring timbers, the ashes of a home, disappeared I'm the mother raging with a bottle in her hand, the little girl cowering in fear I'm the earthquake swallowing mountains, the lives and the dreams no longer found I'm the pirate, wild and desperate on the ocean, the helpless hostage, gagged and bound I'm the shaker, I am the shaken I'm the taker, I am the taken I'm the forsaker, I'm the forsaken So, call me by my true names Call me by my true names What would I do if I were you? Can I really stay separate if I walk in your shoes? I'm the farmer lashing the donkey, the beast of burden buckling under the blows I'm the bully, the addict, the liar, the thief, the tormented soul who lets nothing show Am I the waker? Am I awakened? The forsaker? Am I forsaken? It could have been you, it could have been me: we are both small waves in this vast sea Her or him, or you or me (I know) We are not different; we are not the same Call me by my true names We are not different; we are not the same Call me by my true names Call me by my true names Call me by my true names
9.
Colour Me In 03:33
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Stories whispering in the clouds, my dreams speak a language that I say out loud These tongue twisters won’t give me blisters, so I’ll sing on, this is my vow You can hear a symphony playing, harmonies that sound like praying When they cause a flood to rise in my blood, I translate what they’re saying to me (saying to me, saying to me) Poems smoke amongst the embers, burn themselves deep so that I remember Across the sky this Fourth of July, and through the snows of dark December You can hear the trumpets blare, rolling out their mighty fanfare They bore a hole right in my soul, now I’m flying through the fluttering air (fluttering air, fluttering air) You caress the simple sketches I design Adding strokes of brilliant hues between the lines Colour me in, colour me in, breathe more life into my skin Colour me in, colour me in, colour me in Words are pouring down like rain, soaking through my body, shaking the weather vane The steadfast muse checks the news while I watch the moon wax and wane You can hear the beat of a drum calling out for something or someone It hits my heart, it rips me apart and dances on my bones till it’s done (till it’s all done) You caress the simple sketches I design Adding strokes of brilliant hues between the lines Colour me in, colour me in, breathe more life into my skin Colour me in, colour me in, colour me in I don’t want to travel down this road in black and white Give me oranges, yellows, scarlets - tonight and every night Azures and emeralds, violet, indigo dreamers Wind them all around me just like Maypole streamers You caress the simple sketches I design Adding strokes of brilliant hues between the lines Colour me in, colour me in, breathe more life into my skin Colour me in, colour me in, colour me in
10.
End of the Story 04:10
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This is the end of a story, the beginning I'll never know But if I did, if I could turn back time It could all add up to this, 'cause there's a difference Between a slap and a kiss, there's a difference And I can see how it could be A bomb explodes, a gun is fired – I ask myself, "What came before?" The clenched fist, the clenched jaw, the clenched heart – the scent of fear behind this door Each step along the way… inheritance and choices The flowers blooming in the dirt – can I listen to their voices? This is the end of a story, the beginning I'll never know But if I did, if I could turn back time It would all add up to this, 'cause there's a difference Between a slap and a kiss, there's a difference And I can see how it could be A harvest shared, a smiling face – I ask myself, "What came before?" An open mind, two open arms, an open heart – the warmth of love inside this door Each step along the way… inheritance and choices The flowers blooming in the dirt – can I hear their precious voices? Sometimes I fall down from the sheer force of these feelings I won't believe I have the power to change, then Sometimes I rise up, so immense and full of joy It feels wonderful and not strange... And I know I'm not ruled by circumstance I hold these bold tools in my hands It's not the end of this story, yeah, the ending I'll never know But if I dared - if I dared predict tomorrow It could all add up to bliss, 'cause there's a difference Between a slap and a kiss, there's a difference And I can see how sweet it can be How sweet it can be How sweet it can be
11.
Number on the Card 03:24
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I can do it all my ownsome I’ve learned to stand firm in my shoes But sometimes it gets a little lonesome And I’m swept up in memories and blues I embrace my Bonheur but I cannot hide my Tristesse And I’m waiting for a union with you Am I now and forever the High Priestess But they say that her number is two The number on the card is two I am nobody’s fool, I am nobody’s child Not a wife or a husband or a slave I am strong and I’m free but I hide a little secret Of the tenderness I crave I embrace my Bonheur but I cannot hide my Tristesse I am waiting for a union with you Am I now and forever the High Priestess And they say her number is two The number on the card is two Like the queens of old, I stitch into fabric Can my needle bring you home? Through turning seasons and dawn’s new light Will I still be on my own? On my own I embrace my Bonheur but I cannot hide my Tristesse I am waiting for a union with you Am I now and forever the High Priestess But they say that her number is two The number on the card is two
12.
Cosmic Washing Machine 03:56
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Washing machine…cosmic washing machine On a small, stony island in the middle of the sea Where once volcanoes did erupt most forcefully Black rock, open skies, brightest flowers overflowing Atlantic-powered current, never ceasing, always blowing I met Isis on the shore Deep wrinkles, like the land Her eyes the clearest azure Her skin, the colour of sand (she said) This is the place where you can let go, the place of strangest dreams This is the place for renewal, like some cosmic washing machine The only place where Atlantis arises from the waves So let this island cleanse your soul - you can be brave In the washing machine…cosmic washing machine How many birds alight here, as they migrate 'cross the oceans How many brilliant longings stay asleep as only notions Water gives us life by cycling steam and ice and rain Just like our deepest feelings can refresh anew again I travelled to Los Lobos Where seals once basked in sun I let my heart pour out until I was done This is the place where you can let go, the place of strangest dreams This is the place for renewal, like some cosmic washing machine The only place where Atlantis arises from the waves So let this island cleanse your soul - you will be saved In the washing machine…cosmic washing machine
13.
Bear Medicine 03:58
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Calling to the west for some BEAR MEDICINE (calling to the west) A light bulb moment like Thomas Edison STOP THE HUNT! Foraging for nourishment, tracking down the sweet Savouring the berries so delectable to eat So take up a camera and put away the gun Recognize the majesty in every single one These photographs will be the proof of all we need to shoot We’re growing mighty in respect from deep down in our roots Calling to the west for some BEAR MEDICINE, teach us what to keep and what to jettison We can be released Calling to the west for some BEAR MEDICINE, a light bulb moment like Thomas Edison There’s beauty in this beast – oh! Remembering each winter the silence of retreat Settling in the Dream Lodge and drifting into sleep Fighting only to ensure the young are well and safe Following these footprints, I keep the faith The click of the shutter replaces the trigger Awe in the smaller as well as the bigger So, drop the ammunition, grab a zoom lens instead These moments are the trophy and they leave no dead Calling to the west for some BEAR MEDICINE, teach us what to keep and what to jettison We can be released Calling to the west for some BEAR MEDICINE, a light bulb moment like Thomas Edison There’s beauty in this beast – oh! Honoring the Inter-being of souls Harm to one is always harm to the whole No adrenalin rush, bloody souvenir’s disgrace (this is our resolution) So, wave goodbye to all this wanton waste (to end backward evolution!) And STOP THE HUNT! STOP THE HUNT! STOP THE HUNT! STOP THE HUNT! Calling to the west for some BEAR MEDICINE (calling to the west) A light bulb moment like Thomas Edison (calling to the west) Calling to the west for some BEAR MEDICINE (calling to the west) What to keep and what to jettison (calling to the west) There’s beauty (Calling to the west for some BEAR MEDICINE) So much beauty (Teach us what to keep and what to jettison) / calling to the west There’s beauty in this beast (We can be released) / calling to the west There’s beauty (Calling to the west for some BEAR MEDICINE) So much beauty (A light bulb moment like Thomas Edison) / calling to the west There’s beauty in this beast (There’s beauty in this beast) / calling to the… STOP THE HUNT! STOP THE HUNT! STOP THE HUNT!
14.
My Holy Ghost 04:10
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I breathe you, believe you, I fill my lungs with the sweetest air Your delicate kiss brushes my lips, your fingers linger, comb through my hair Your shoes untied in my closet, your toothbrush ready by my porcelain sink I call to you on this flickering screen and there you are, quicker than a blink Oh, my holy ghost I will not forsake you Oh haunting one, the shadow of you across the sun Hush, now, I mustn’t wake you And now I pace around this space, and you are nowhere near All I hold in my head are those words you said, through this fog of fear I thought you promised me faithful, that our hearts beat fast together But inside these four lonely walls, my mournful cries resound forever Oh, my holy ghost I will not forsake you Oh haunting one, the shadow of you across the sun Hush, now, I mustn’t wake you When you’re here touching my shoulder Speaking my name, you walk next to me I’m melting, falling I’m losing my identity And then I hate you for taking me over You suffocate me in the web you weave I rage like Medusa Till morning, then I watch you Leave, then I watch you Leave Oh, my holy ghost I will not forsake you Oh haunting one, the shadow of you across the sun This is how I take you This is how I make you This is how… My holy ghost My holy ghost My holy ghost Hush, now, I mustn’t wake you

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released May 25, 2020

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Monica Max West London, UK

Max is a joyful singer-songwriter, originally from Chicago, but now residing in London, UK. She is a feminist, Buddhist, and joyful Earth dweller, a proud member of Extinction Rebellion, a wildlife photographer and the creator of the YouTube show "Moonbow the Sun Bear"! ... more

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